How does EFT work with Kids?

By far the most effective technique that I use with my children and teen clients is EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping as it is usually called. Why?

• it is incredibly effective in calming anxiety which is the emotion behind most of the issues and conditions I work with

• it is fast, often only taking less than 30 minutes which is why I offer free 30 minute discovery sessions which can be used as EFT demos

• children and teens often don't know why they feel how they feel, they simply feel it and that's all we need to get tapping, a feeling

• they usually don't want to talk about it. They've probably already done that at school or with CAMHS or with their teacher or parent, but they still experience the emotions

• they usually don't want to tell you the story, they've already done that and in any case, what happened recently to trigger them probably goes back to early childhood, it is something they've 'always' had in some measure

• once they know how to use tapping, they can do it for themselves whenever they need to and can use it for whatever they are feeling and whenever they feel it so they can now feel empowered and confident, resilient and ready for whatever comes their way

• they can use it anywhere, at home, at school , out in crowded overwhelming places, at night when they can't get to sleep, when they're struggling with their homework, during an exam, before a match or event, performance or other similar situation

So how does it work?

When something happens that reminds us of a past event that was upsetting, it creates a disruption in our energy flow. A child might experience this as a sick feeling in their stomach, tight chest, sore throat or they might feel a sense of panic and have an urge to run away. This is the fight/flight reflex. If it is traumatic in some way, they might freeze. The freeze happens when we cannot fight or flight. It could be described as a 'rabbit in the headlights' situation.

But then you start tapping on the energy meridian points on the body or on the hands (this obviously works better at school as it is more discrete) and as you do this, you connect to the feeling by naming it e.g. fear/ panic / sad / embarrassed etc. and locate it in the body e.g in my chest, in my stomach etc. and after a few tapping rounds the negative feelings diffuse and are replaced by a calm confident feeling.

Here is a tapping diagram with the points and you can download free tapping diagrams on the Free Resources page

Tapping is often something I have to use when doing a discovery call with a parent calling me to talk about their child or teen because it can be very upsetting making that call and tapping is a really quick way to comfort them and show them how it works.

I like to do mum (and dad ) sessions of tapping so that you can support your child, here's why:

• your child will be taught tapping so they can manage their emotions between sessions and after their programme of sessions working with me. If you know how to tap as well, you can tap with them, for them (if they're really upset, angry or crying) this is so helpful and supportive

• parents with children or teens who are self-harming, not eating, having suicidal thoughts , those who can't face school, grieving, struggling after separation etc. can support their child so much better if they are not themselves in need of healing. By them being in a calm place, they transmit a calming energy that is reassuring to the child. Also if you're convinced your child won't go into school, will not eat, will cut themselves, this will be picked up by your child and this will give them additional stress as they are upset to have hurt you. Many's the child or teen I have helped simply by helping the parent and introducing them to tapping.

• often the limiting beliefs of the child have come from pre-conception, utero during pregnancy or at birth, imprinted by mother to child at cell level (they don't have a cognitive brain yet) as well as in early childhood of course. I am looking for a UDIN - something that happened to my child or teen client in their 0-6yrs that was unexpected, dramatic, isolating and for which they had no strategy. This send them into 'freeze' and a belief is imprinted that can be seen in their child or teen behaviour and emotions eg. "I am unlovable", "I am not important", "It's all my fault", "I am not good enough" and so on. It is enormously helpful for me to find the child or teens core belief through working with their mother.

• It could also have come down through the maternal ancestral line so working with the parent on their own childhood helps me help your child or teen as I will better understand the root of the parent's beliefs that have been unwittingly passed down.

If you want further proof, I am part of the volunteer team for a charity called FAST which is currently paused but was chosen by the NHS and Emergency Services in 2019 when Covid started until earlier this year with EFT Tapping being the therapy of choice that could get staff back to work safely and quickly after stress or trauma.

I could write much more as it is so fascinating but you will find more information in my books, YouTube videos, Substack and of course my podcast, all of which are in the free resources section.

If you are interested in training with me please get in touch so we can work out a personal customised package to cover what you'd like to know more about and how you learn best.

If you're wondering why i haven't mentioned NLP then that is because I did another blog post on NLP.

I'll be doing another one soon on the Power of Art as a healing tool.