How does NLP work with Kids?

This is a question I'm frequently asked because most people have heard of NLP through work as a selling technique or for motivating employees. Another way they have heard of NLP can be through TV shows like Paul McKenna hypnotising members of the audience.

So how, they ask can it help our kids?

So there's some truth in these examples I've just given. Yes we can use NLP - neuro linguistic programming, to 'sell' and 'motivate'. As a parent this is what we spend a lot of time doing don't we?

• selling them on the idea of going to school

• getting dressed

• getting out of the door on time

• with everything they need

• selling them on the need to do their homework

• that they can do it without your help

• selling them on going to bed

Child doesn't want to go to school

The list is much longer than this isn't it?

What if you learnt some ways to make this easier by using some techniques I share in my books, on my courses and training and in the videos on my Youtube channel and Podcasts.

We need to motivate them to

• get up in the morning

• work hard at school

• behave well and with kindness

• revise for tests

• believe in themselves

• make friends

Neuro is our thoughts, beliefs about the world and ourselves, our mind basically.

Linguistic is how we express those thoughts, the words we choose and our body language

Programming is the results we get, our programmes, habits, ways of living our life

When things are going well, we sometimes miss what we did to get there. But, the sad thing for children and teens is that their focus can be on what did not go well. They feel dejected, depressed and want to give up. In fact many of the teens I see have actually wanted to give up completely. This is manifested through self-harming, drugs, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders and other similar behaviours.

One of the ways NLP can help is to help them understand those thought patterns and we can often trace these back to early childhood, often in the womb or at birth when the greatest embedding of negative beliefs can occur as it's before their cognitive thinking brain kicks in.

The hypnotic aspect of NLP mentioned earlier is all about language patterns and using the power of our often over- imaginative mind to conquer the intrusive thoughts and feelings. When children take control of their mind, recognise patterns and know which ways of thinking give the best results they have choices. They don't need to keep repeating behaviours, they now have a 'model of excellence' for concepts like 'trust', 'confidence', 'self-belief' and other tools like affirmations, maybe a yoga pose, an NLP anchor, essential oil to balance the Root chakra, grounding meditations and so on.

Role play can be helpful where children learn that it is not 'all about them' by using exercises like Perceptual Positioning to experience a situation from 3 positions - their own, the other person's and the all important 3rd position which is as an impartial observer. Some might call that our 'higher self'.

Most of my clients enjoy using Lego modelling to express their feelings, the sand tray with animals or expressive art. No session is the same. I am led by what they need in the moment. I don't have a plan. I may have an idea based on what came up last session but as we all know, children's needs change by the hour, so a week is a long time.

I also use EFT Tapping but I will write about that separately in another Blog Post

You can find my books on Amazon but if you buy them from me direct you will get a signed copy. Here is the link to my books where you will also find free resources such as worksheets for your kids and links to my You Tube channel with helpful videos on how to use NLP techniques and my Podcast.

Both of these books are particularly helpful. As a parent I would recommend 'Empower your kids' because the first section covers general issues and how NLP and EFT will help, showing you exactly what to do. The second section covers specific issues; anxiety, anger etc

If you are a professional or prefer that sort of level of content, a coach, practitioner, counsellor, teacher, therapist then 'Understanding Children and Teens' is for you. This covers everything I teach on the training for the 'NLP and EFT Kids Practitioner' so examples tend to relate to client work rather than your own children.

Professionals guide to NLP and EFT

If you like an audiobook, 'Understanding children and teens' is available as an audiobook and I have been given some free promo codes for the UK and US. They are individual codes so get in touch if you'd like one.

I am in the process of updating my Engaging NLP series of workbooks - currently only the Sport and Tweens one is available but gradually others will be published so keep an eye on the My Books page or join me here as a subscriber so you get to know as soon as they are available.

Remember you can book a free chat with me.

Bye for now!