Self belief can sometimes fall away during parenthood when we forget that pre-kids we were fully functioning adults in employment with status and pay. This can be mistaken for self belief but it is often externally referenced because it may depend on someone else.
How much more useful is self belief born out of internal referencing because it is dependent on no-one but yourself and can be accessed in whatever situation you find yourself in.
So how do we achieve this internally referenced self esteem?
- The first step is to write down all the things you are good at.
- When you run out of ideas, ask your kids, your partner, parents, friends, and other mums at school. Write down everything they say, however silly it may seem.
- Secondly, alongside each one, note what that also means you can do in other contexts.
So, to take an example: perhaps you can get your child ready for school on time?
Well that means that you have
- excellent time management skills
- you can focus on a task
- motivate others to follow your lead.
Do this for all the skills on your list. There's much more detail and more exercises in my book Engaging NLP Back to Work.
I bet you’re already realising what a lot you have to offer!
Judy Bartkowiak is an NLP Master Practitioner specialising in working with parents, children and teenagers. She can be contacted on 01628 660618 or 07917 451245 or via her website www.nlpfamily.com where you can buy NLP workbooks for parenting, children and pregnancy.